S07E25: Dumb and Dumber

by Mr. Mike » Sat May 13, 2017 10:33 am

Preliminary rantings on last night's show...

If I had to sum up this show in 3 words or less, it would be "a ghastly mishmash." It's like they had all these little plot threads left over to serve up.

Why did they bother with the whole sex trafficking theme? That was already resolved in the earlier episode. Considering there were supposedly ELEVEN more girls who had been kidnapped seen in this show, this seems to me like a REALLY BIG DEAL that the cops, Five-Zero, etc., etc. should have been investigating A LONG TIME AGO.

Where to begin?

I thought the "Chin and Abby about to do it like monkeys" scene was pretty funny ... but this really emphasized how "nice" Chin Ho is. (Of course, this is network TV, you can't be too rank.) I am starting to be annoyed by Chin Ho's persona on the show. Although he can be "angry" from time to time, overall his whole character is far too "sanitized."

I predicted the kono "preggers" plot line recently! Who knows where this thread is going.

But Kono's jumping on a plane and becoming an avenging angel for these Boko Haram-like girls who have been sex-trafficked all over the Mainland was totally absurd, though not as ridiculous as McG jumping on to the top of the truck, which was in major "Claw" territory [remember Wo Fat and "The Claw"?]. When McG dropped down to uncouple the trailer, I kept wondering why the evil driver didn't see him through the window which was right behind him!! And how could McG climb up thru the roof of the truck from inside? It seemed to be much higher than 6 feet up or whatever. Maybe the girls did a gymastic cheerleader-like pyramid which McG climbed up??

The only thing I really liked was when McGarrett was letting Danno have it big time, suggesting he was just waiting for his ex-wife's divorce so he could get back together with her! The whole business at the beginning of the show with Danno telling his kid that McGarrett is "in a constant state of 'time out'" was yet another example of Danno being an ungrateful shit, especially considering that McG helped him fix up the kid's room and even babysat the kid in a previous episode.

by JeffL » Sat May 13, 2017 12:08 pm

Last night's episode was just an absolute mess, although the subject matter of an illegal slave/sex ring involving underage teenage girls certainly was nothing to joke about. Still, as usual under the guise of Lenkov and Orci with their crack writing staff, it was so poorly written.

Based on last week's episode about the terrorist threat and the teaser at the end in which the team discovered that an even more dangerous attack was coming to Hawaii, I thought that last night's finale would deal with that subject matter. Instead, the plot had nothing to do with the previous episode. In fact, except for the ending with McGarrett revealing to Danno that he suffered from the after-effects of radiation poisoning and then Kono going flying off in secrecy to the mainland on her own one-person task force, the episode could have been aired earlier as Part II of the one about sex trafficking which originally aired on March 10th.

Last night's episode deserved 0 stars or if possible negative stars despite the seriousness of the actual plot involving underage trafficking. I guess that the girl who Kono rescued in that earlier episode had intel that the trafficking was still present in Oahu as she produced a sketch of the criminal mastermind, showing it to Kono. I'm not quite sure how this 14/15-year-old girl knew this information. As usual, it was not explained well in the plot.

There's no need to discuss the rescue plot that the team, or more specifically McGarrett came up with. Jumping off of a bridge and landing on the roof of a tractor-trailer as it was moving at a decent rate of speed defied all logic. McGarrett did not break one of his legs/feet on impact or else miss the trailer completely? And Jerry back at headquarters was able to tell McGarrett at the exact split second to jump based on watching it on a screen? A tragedy have ... no should have happened!

One other plan mentioned by Danno as not being possible, shooting out the tires which could have caused the driver of the tractor-trailer to lose control of the large vehicle and possibly endanger the lives of the girls being held hostage in the trailer, was replaced by McGarrett's brilliant idea at the end. He uncoupled the trailer from the tractor as it was moving at a high rate of speed! Really?!? And somehow sliding along on the pavement with nothing steering or adequately braking it, the trailer did not tip over, crash and endanger the lives of the 5 girls still inside? Only on the new H 5-0!

I think that this episode simply highlighted how stupid the script-writers believe that all viewers of the show are regarding their intelligence. These clowns can come up with the most moronic plot-lines imaginable. And they believe that the audience would find everything to be realistic! Perhaps I'm silly for devoting 60-minutes of my time weekly in watching this farce.

Other thoughts: For the first time in months, Abby made an appearance in the episode and luckily was not killed herself when she thought that holding up her badge and the other hand up telling the hijacker to stop his truck would suffice. Duke screaming at Abby to move eventually penetrated the apparently empty space residing in her brain, otherwise, yet another partner of Chin Ho's would have met her demise, recalling Reiko Aisleworth's character as his newlywed wife Malia.

Where was Abby all of these months? Until last week, viewers had no idea that Abby and Chin Ho were still dating. Another example of the talents of the crack writing staff who for months did not mention her at all.

Abby shows up and the two probably not having sex for months. So, suddenly hornier than anything, they begin taking each other's clothes off as Chin Ho picks Abby up her legs wrapped around the outside of his body and plopping her on top of his bed. I also would have laughed my head off if in answer to Chin Ho's statement that it was okay for Abby and he to exchange bodily fluids in bed as his young niece was not home if the girl inexplicably had walked in on a naked Abby and Chin Ho doing the nasty in bed! "What are you doing, Uncle Chin? Who is that lady beneath you? Why is the bed shaking so much"?

Oh yeah, this must be a show suitable for 14-year old kids to be able to view, I assume. Has the girl even met Abby?

So, what was the teaser about Kono's career-altering decision she was to have made as advertised? She was seen in the store picking up a pregnancy test, and hiding it from Chin Ho's adopted niece, (I assume related to Kono in a way as well). As no Adam was seen in the episode, were they trying to conceive a child all this time, and never mentioned in a plot? Was that the career-altering decision Kono was thinking about, quitting the team to begin raising a family? Adam is still unemployed so how are the bills going to be paid, as it's not exactly cheap to live in Hawaii with neither couple having a job!

Or, was Kono now off on some mission to rescue other teenage girls on her own on the mainland? As McGarrett tried to tell Kono, one person by him/herself could not prevent what was happening in so many cities in the U.S. I guess however that Kono has other ideas judging by the last scene in the finale.

Is Danno now, inexplicably thinking about going back to his wife? McGarrett is right, what is Danno thinking about? The woman, Rachel has long been proven since Season 1 to have all sorts of issues related to her being a very selfish individual. Speaking of girlfriends, how come we've not seen McGarrett's girlfriend in months? Or have they broken up?

It seems like the script-writers throughout the season start so many side-plots that due to time restraints inherent in a 43-minute episode, they end up boxing themselves into a corner and can't resolve all of them. Grover mentions his daughter possibly going to Northwestern as a freshman in the fall. I'm assuming that she's still living in Hawaii. Yet, we have not seen this daughter once this season at all as far as I can remember.

Are Grover's son and Danno's daughter, Grace still dating? Though awkward, I actually thought they made a cute couple although the two Neanderthal fathers had other ideas thinking that the teenagers only had sex on their minds.

To me, this new version of Hawaii 5-0 has not improved one iota since Season 1. Season 7 just ended and matching it up with the original show at that point, there simply is no comparison. Imo, the original 5-0 had some stinkers in Season 7 back then regarding a handful of episodes, (the infamous Diary of a Gun). However, studying my DVD set from that season, there were also a handful of memorable gemss:

The Young Assassins
I'll Kill Them Again
We Hang Our Own, (loved Elissa in that episode)
How to Steal A Masterpiece
A Gun for McGarrett
Computer Killer
And the Horse Jumped Over the Moon
Hit Gun For Sale
The Hostage

The current 5-0 to me only had one well-above average episode in season seven, the one involving the Kennedy assassination conspiracy and that was so good mainly because of the realistic flashback scenes which made it appear that it was set in 1963. The plot itself involving Kennedy's upper-echelon cabinet members on vacation in Hawaii the day before his assassination and possibly those men carrying it out was far-fetched. Turned out and historically true these men were in Hawaii to discuss possibly killing Fidel Castro.

I can see why as rumored most of the lead actors in the show want to see Season 8 be the last one. The show has long run its course. So, what would be some logical episodes to put a cap on next season?

Abby and Chin Ho getting married and he taking that job offer in SF? Kono, exposing more sex-trafficking rings on the mainland, coming back to Hawaii and giving birth to her first child?

Grace and Grover's daughter continuing to date, taking it to the next level which drives both their father's crazy?

Catherine returning back to Hawaii, McGarrett finally able to convince her to marry him only to find out that he has serious health issues involving radiation poisoning. Only Catherine this time stays to help him deal with his situation, especially if it is life threatening.

I would like to see the series finale involve the team breaking up and while remaining friends, (even Danno and McGarrett) they each move on to other, less dangerous things.

by Mr. Mike » Mon May 15, 2017 10:41 am

This show was full of questions to do with time and topography.

According to Google Maps, if the bad guy is driving from his house in Kaneohe which is located somewhere near the beach there to the Kalaeloa Airport to be on a plane to Carson City, Nevada, this would probably take about 35-40 minutes. (His house seemed to be a really massive house, by the way, both when seen at the beginning of the show and also in the Google Maps-like view from above.)

When we first see this truck, it is driving on a viaduct, which looks like it is the “right” viaduct of a divided highway, and the truck is driving the wrong way! But maybe this is just an entrance to the main drag or something.

Anyway it is difficult to figure out where this truck is really driving when it is being chased by Five-Zero and the cops. Eventually it is forced off the road to take the H3 highway by Grover driving his Chevrolet Suburban. This was kind of stupid, even though there was a SWAT truck and some other vehicle on the road ahead which the truck would have had to knock over like he did the police cars when Abby almost got creamed.

I didn’t understand why the bad guy was so easily forced over by Grover … was Mr. Baddie concerned that his truck might get scratched or something?

After the truck goes through the tunnel, you can see an exit for Kaneohe on the right side, so the truck is basically back close to where it started!

There are lots of questions about the ridiculous stunt where McGarrett jumps on to the roof of the truck. Like nowhere do we hear from Jerry which lane the truck is going to be in when it comes out of the tunnel. Isn’t this kind of important?

I actually phoned up some local place which sells trailers and grilled one of the guys there with questions. He told me some interesting things:

– You cannot open the roll-up door of a trailer like this from the inside. But it doesn’t look like the third bad dude at the beginning of the show who rolls the door down locks it, though. (Do you think the people making the show anticipated my evil eye, LOL?) Note there is a mini-ladder for the girls to use to get into the truck, but this is not put inside the truck in case you have questions about the next point…
– The height from the floor to the ceiling of a trailer like this is 110 inches or 9 feet, 2 inches. So maybe McGarrett could pull himself up through the hole in the ceiling he created if he jumped, he wouldn’t have had to have the girls do a cheerleader-like pyramid for him to climb on. (I dunno about this, I am 6 feet tall and in my bare feet, I can reach up to 7 feet 10 inches when standing on my tiptoes.)
– The way McGarrett undid the trailer from the truck is sort of realistic, but the guy at the trailer company said words to the effect: “you would have to have a pretty long arm to do this, because the metal rod you pull out which unlocks the kingpin [the thing on the trailer that actually connects it to the truck] is about 3 feet in from the front of the trailer.”
– BUT (talking about realism) … if you cut the brake lines to the trailer as McGarrett did, the brakes in the trailer will kick in big time. This is a safety measure called “dynamiting the brakes.” If the brakes were suddenly applied like this, the trailer might start fishtailing all over the place.
– It might also start fishtailing all over the place for another reason, because if the trailer was detached from the truck, the front of the trailer would head right for the ground (where the girls are all huddled up!!), though there is this thing called the “landing gear” which is what normally holds the truck up when it is sitting detached from the truck. That is jacked up several inches when the trailer is connected to the truck and moving. The guy said this would probably break off if the trailer was detached and moving forward at a considerable rate of speed (much faster than the 30 miles an hour mentioned in the show at one point, I would suggest), it wouldn’t tear up the pavement as was shown on the show.

by Mr. Mike » Mon May 15, 2017 6:20 pm

Review of this show: http://fiveohomepage.com/2010-log7.htm#25

This corrects a few errors in stuff I have ranted about already.

The length of this review as of 5 p.m. May 16th is up to 17,000 characters. A typical review would be in the range of 6,000-8,000 characters.


by Mr. Mike » Thu May 18, 2017 10:47 am

Funny comment in the MostlyFive0 blog by leiCa:


I will close this season with a short summary of what happened in the last seven years:

Dannoying: “Oh noooo, we are all gonna die. This is horrible, nothing can help us, we are doomed, the island is doomed, nooo… Meeehhh. You are all idiots, morons and putz’ if you think we will survive. Nooo this is so terrible, there is no reasonable chance we will make it. Apocalypse is coming. Oh nooo, no one will save us.”

Steve: “Hold my beer.”