S04E13 - “Is This Any Way To Run A Paradise?” - Plot

(Prepared by Bobbi Baker)


Sirens wail as a smokestack belches pollution during a backfire. HFD Engine 4 arrives on scene as McGarrett leaves Iolani Palace. He arrives a short time later as firemen secure the building. Kono is standing in the yard as McGarrett talks to the Fire Chief (Clarence Garcia) who tells him they're dealing with arson but in reverse. Pointing to the top of the stack the Chief says, "now how did that yo-yo get up there?" McGarrett tells the Chief, "that's one of my yo-yos". Danno keeps climbing the stack as McGarrett talks to Kono who briefs him when they fired it up, it backfired but the incinerator was closed for the weekend. The Chief weighs in, as the top of the stack is eight feet in diameter so it took some serious muscle to accomplish lidding the stack. Kono is excited to see someone do something about the "smudge pots" for once. McGarrett tells Chin to knock on some doors because there are plenty of apartments facing the incinerator. Danno walks up with a decorated gourd with a tiki doll and a letter inside: 'Stop poisoning the air. Kaili wants the sky to be blue. E Ku Kaili Moku'. Kono explains the last sentence, "Kaili has risen." Kaili is the ancient Hawaiian god of battle.

Act One

McGarrett goes to the Bishop Museum with the gourd to talk to Sumi (Edward Fernandez) the curator. Sumi recognizes the figure in the gourd right away as Kaili, the god of battle who was worshipped greatly during the time of King Kamehameha the Great. While there were several war gods, only one could be heard over battle: Kaili. When Sumi says the phrase in the note, he explains it was more of rallying cry than anything else like a "long live Hawaii". Miss Weston (Maura McGiveney) wants to know who is using white tern feathers for "curio dolls". Weston tells him the white tern is a vanishing species of which there are only two nests left on Rabbit Island. White tern was also something of a perimeter alarm because it would warn everyone else with "a piercing scream". McGarrett muses about taking up bird watching, which Weston isn't against in the least.

At the incinerator, McGarrett bangs on the lid with a screwdriver. Che Fong (Harry Endo) tells McGarrett the lid is "sheet aluminum quarter inch thick, hinged in the middle, diameter eight feet, six inches". Che estimates it weighs 125 pounds with McGarrett adding, "minimum". There are no fingerprints and no equipment showing how it could have been hoisted up. Che also points out the edge is tapered to make sure it was snug. Chin runs up with information from a witness: has a clear view of the stack and saw a guy climb up on Sunday and this morning before dawn carrying a piece of iron. McGarrett doesn't believe one man could carry 125 plus pounds up a 142-foot high stack. Danno arrives on scene with information on the typewriter: surplus Army model six, which a slew was sold after the war but this one has "a dirty 'E,' and a broken 'H,' and tends to double-space under heavy pressure". McGarrett wonders if they're not overreacting with Kono having a hunch they'll hear from him again as a garbage truck drives on the overpass behind Kono.

A different garbage truck stops in front of the Legislative Building where it dumps its load on the street under the State Seal! An HPD officer runs out to investigate only to find another gourd in the cab of the truck. Officer Kyle asks for a patch to McGarrett.

At the 'Environmental Defense League,' McGarrett talks to the man (Fred Ball) in charge. McGarrett wants to know who pays the group's bills. Mr. Finley offers their mailing list but ensures McGarrett they are a bunch of volunteers. Finley says a bunch of their members want Kaili to run for senator and others want to pin medals on him. Finley tells McGarrett Honolulu is becoming more like New York City and Los Angeles every day, "is this any way to run a paradise?" When asked if he believes Kaili's tactics are the best, Finley states human history started with an act of disobedience and will likely end with one too. He hands McGarrett the mailing list. Outside, Danno and Chin talk over the radio with Danno confirming it was the same typewriter. Chin doesn't get it when Danno answers him if they don't stop dumping raw sewage off Sand Island everyone will need typhoid shots to go swimming. Danno walks up the steps to the Environmental Defense League meeting McGarrett walking out. They discuss Kaili's next move and McGarrett says pick your poison.

A crop duster flies a bi-plane over a sugar cane field. After making several passes, Kaili shoots it down with the bi-plane crashing in the field. However, Kaili pulls the pilot out leaving behind another gourd.

Act Two

McGarrett and an ambulance respond to the plane crash where Five-O and HPD are already on the scene. Danno shows McGarrett the gourd as two HPD officers look after the pilot. The pilot can't describe the guy except he had "big meat hooks" and carried him like a baby. McGarrett pulls out the note: "stop poisoning the Earth. The soil is for growing, not killing. Kaili." An HPD officer walks up saying there's buckshot all over the engine like he was careful not to hit the pilot. McGarrett's sympathies have come to an end as he picks up the pilot's goggles: it's now attempted murder!

At Five-O, Jenny (Peggy Ryan Sherman) informs McGarrett Finley has been picked up and waiting in his office. Finley relents giving McGarrett 37 more names of people who he remembers attending meetings. Finley wants Kaili caught fast because he's missing the point. McGarrett passes the list to Danno to check out with the help of Chin and Kono. Kaili is big, smart, knows metal work, has access to an old typewriter and a shotgun with 00 shot. They begin their door-to-door search crossing names off as they go starting with Clement Bryan and Edward J. Kramer (Scott Stambler). Chin has a nibble but he's not to be. Danno talks to an owner (Herb Jeffries) of a gas station who isn't very optimistic and has a shotgun on his back shelf. An attendant (Dennis Chun) hands him some money and asks for some 10-30 oil. The owner mentions a developer by the name of Lai Han (Richard Morrison) who overdeveloped the land. When Danno sees the shotgun the owner says it's his and it used to be his duck gun when there were ducks on Oahu. Danno asks about where he was when the incidents took place. Kono meets a shop teacher (Nephi Hanneman) who was alone n Sunday and Monday at 5:00 a.m. He has class until 3:00 p.m. and then it's football practice because he's an assistant coach. The shop teacher admires Kaili because he's shaken people up faster than he has in his years of writing letters to Congressmen. Kono warns if he doesn't turn himself in soon he's looking a whole lot of prison.

In McGarrett's office, he and Danno go over some posters picked up at a head shop. Outside, Jenny tries to stop a weirdo (Don Lev) from entering. He makes a grand entrance offering his ring to 'McGarrett' to kiss but he mistakes Danno for McGarrett! McGarrett corrects him right away as Danno gives him a sideways look. He wants to confess to the Kaili incidents. He calls himself Kaili Kong and neither McGarrett nor Danno are buying his story. McGarrett tells Kong Danno is their Public Relations officer and he'll make sure there is plenty of press as Danno walks him out probably to HPD. Jenny tells McGarrett the posters were ordered by Joe Lemana (James Canada), a university student.

Chin visits Lemana who is in the middle of a headstand when Chin finds him. Chin even turns his badge the other way so Lemana can read it. Chin looks around seeing the posters and a typewriter. When Chin moves for it, Lemana exits his headstand saying he could be him but he's far too small and the typewriters don't match.

Back in McGarrett's office, they have gone through 57 names but how many are real? Chin says the construction guy qualifies but his alibis are solid. Kono brings forth his teacher "a real mountain" but the principal (Norman Tang) and the football coach (Baird Miller) back him up. Danno mentions the gas station owner. Chin also brings up a man who threatens to demolish an apartment building one floor at a time because it blocks his view of Diamond Head and he's already moved six times.

McGarrett goes to KGMB that night in time to see a televised panel of developers and Senator Patterson (Fred Titcomb) who tells them they have a moral responsibility to put in filters to prevent raw sewage from being dumped into the ocean. Others on the panel include Lai Han, Mr. Grace (Ted Scott) and Mr. Hackbart (Mitch Mitchell). Grace says his only obligation is to his stockholders and profits. Until the government changes the rules, he is only concerned with those two things. The developers say it comes down to either the environment or a sound economy but Senator Patterson refuses to believe these are the only options. As the debate/discussion continues, Kaili types in a basement. It's a death list of all those taking part in the debate/discussion including Mortimer Hotchkins and Jack Wilson Lowell.

Act Three

In McGarrett's office, he has the four men left assembled from the death list. Hotchkins had a coronary upon seeing the list and Lowell departed for the mainland. Han doesn't take the threat seriously because to him, ecology is stupid reason for a motive to murder. McGarrett sees the motive as revenge for what's been done to "an island paradise". He briefs them that an HPD car has been to each to provide "constant" protection. Senator Patterson doesn't understand why he's on the list because he's been fighting for ecology during his term. McGarrett can only guess Kaili sees each of them responsible in some way. The men leave but not without Han having a parting shot telling McGarrett he relies on his own protection. McGarrett is aware of a lot about Han, such as his syndicate connections. Still McGarrett tells him to use the HPD car provided. Han leaves then the team can get to real discussions. Danno doesn't see Kaili as a murderer but McGarrett says he could resort to it in order to justify what he's already done. Chin walks over saying he would pick the weakest point, the easiest target. Kono counters the god of battle would target the strongest man, which would be Lai Han.

Later the next night, all is quiet at Lai Han's house. A swimmer makes a stealthy approach bypassing all the guards. He makes his way into the house and Lai Han's bedroom where he breaks Han's neck. Kaili is revealed to be the teacher!

McGarrett arrives at Han's house where he meets Doc (Al Eben) who tells him where the break was in the neck. McGarrett already knows the weapon: bare hands. Doc says that would require extraordinary strength and McGarrett agrees. He walks to the lanai overlooking the surf to talk to Danno and Kono. The killer swam four miles against a strong current and possible rip tide! Kono believes it could be done as McGarrett reviews the feats of strength thus far knowing the field can't be that big. Kono believes it's his shop teacher, "it's gotta be him".

Danno tests various typewriters at the school with no matches. McGarrett speaks to the football coach about his assistants and while he would have noticed someone leaving early, he couldn't swear to it in court. Kono finds the principal who tells McGarrett Akua wasn't in his shop class Tuesday. Danno still hasn't had any matches asking the janitor what happens with old typewriters: they trade them in but some are junk and kept in the basement. While McGarrett and Danno check out the basement, Akua knocks out Officer Watanabe and escapes! Danno finally finds the matching typewriter.

Act Four

McGarrett goes to see Grace proposing he be used as bait in a trap. Grace refuses. McGarrett leaves to go talk to Senator Patterson who tells McGarrett Kaili's antics are destroying his efforts in the Legislature. Senator Patterson wants to tell Kaili he's killing the ecological legislation because he's turned those who were on the fence against the bills "with a vengeance". McGarrett offers the senator a chance but warns him it makes him a target. Senator Patterson agrees.

Senator Patterson goes on television at KGMB to call out Kaili about the damage he's doing. Senator Patterson tells the audience, specifically Kaili, that all legislation to control pollution will be tabled until next session. Senator Patterson also says he's not afraid and will continue his meetings and speeches as announced. One luncheon Senator Patterson attends is at the Ilikai with Chin right beside him. Kono sits in the parking lot as Danno provides immediate backup and McGarrett watching over from the floor above. Senator Patterson then leaves the War Memorial with Five-O covering him like a blanket. They create a three-car convoy with the senator in the middle. The plan is to take the Likelike Highway to the Ewa cutoff.

Among the sugar cane fields, the three cars keep driving as everyone stays extra vigilant. Akua waits for the proper time and makes his move driving a dump truck through the cane to intercept Senator Patterson, which happens successfully. Senator Patterson is run off the road but Five-O has stopped on either side of the truck. Several shots are fired but Senator Patterson comes out okay. McGarrett has the team spread out then radios in a riot drop to Cane Road "B". Several HPD units respond, readying their rifles on the area they think Akua is. McGarrett calls to Akua through the bullhorn but receives no response. Kono then tries speaking Hawaiian to him. Again, no response. Kono pleads with him in English telling him they will definitely get him. This time, there's smoke amongst the cane. The cane field burns taking Akua with it. Danno runs up with another gourd found in the truck but there isn't a note this time. Kono takes it with tears in his eyes throwing the gourd into the fire.

This plot summary Copyrightę Bobbi Baker 2019. No reproduction of any kind without permission.

Main Page • Season Four, this episode (S04E13)
Season 4 Quick Index • Next Season (Five)