S02E13 - “The Joker’s Wild, Man, Wild!” - Plot

(Prepared by Bobbi Baker)


Three fire engines pull out of the station on a call to "the fort". Danno, with McGarrett no far behind, also respond to the 19th Quartermaster Battalion. A jeep, what's left of it, is burned to a crisp. The lab technicians are enroute but McGarrett finds himself trying to figure out the motive. Army guards were unable to get a look at the person who set the fire "and ran off".

McGarrett leaves for a meeting with the governor and makes he way through the gate and the milling crowd. One blond woman (Beverlee McKinsey) asks him if he's in charge. McGarrett asks if she has a statement to make, "Oh, heavens, no. I just drove by and saw all the excitement. I thought I'd get a few pictures". McGarrett informs her there is much more interesting scenery in Hawaii. After calling him "sergeant" a few times, she imparts "scenery's where you find it".

Act One

McGarrett walks into Five-O calling his team into his office. Wanting the latest on the jeep fire, Danno briefs Molotov cocktail started it with a set of prints found. They're awaiting word from Washington on identification. The team also talks on "an epidemic of fun and games" including a stolen police car and a rare palm tree sawed down. They kick around the who and why of the crimes and how the newspapers have picked up the story.

On the boat Daddy's Girl, three people suck down champagne with an empty bottle being thrown into the water. The same camera happy blond from the crowd serves up the "last bottle" to Craig (Kaz Garas) and Billy (Lani Kai). Jo Louise and Craig were engaged in Dallas "till I tasted the pleasures of the island". Heated, sometimes rude, banter is exchanged between Craig and Billy. Craig is anxious to keep playing 'the game'. Jo Louise grabs what's left of the card deck. Craig chooses the '9,' 150 points to "sink a boat". Craig rips the corner and gives the card back to Jo Louise.

Craig makes it happen at the marina, to a cabin cruiser sailboat. Upon his return, Jo Louise drives to the boat because "I need a picture". A small crowd gathers as the boat lists badly at its mooring.

In McGarrett's office. Danno marks on the transparent board where the police car was found. Trying to figure out a pattern, they find none. Kono walks in reporting on the boat "opened the bilge ... at the Ala Wai Yacht Harbor. Sunk it right at the dock". However, the last bit gives them their first lead. A young man said, "he saw a woman taking pictures of the boat while it sank. A young, good-looking haole chick". McGarrett flashes onto Jo Louise and works with a sketch artist to create her picture. Danno calls her ""All sweetness and light." Alice in Wonderland". McGarrett nods, ordering Danno to get her picture out "to every H.P.D. Officer, bars, hotels, all the swinging joints".

HPD patrols with Jo Louise's picture in their squad cars. A pair of HPD officers in Unit 129 finds her walking near First Hawaiian Bank. They stop her just as she gets into her Corvette.

Act Two

A tourist trolley stops in front of Iolani Palace as the guide (Yankee Chang) talks about it, telling what is housed there currently, including "state police unit Five-O". In McGarrett's office Jo Louise denies knowing anything about the crimes. She doesn't endear herself to McGarrett or Danno with her smart aleck remarks. Danno tells her the jeep fire is destruction of government property, a federal offense and they believe she's involved. McGarrett can hold her for 24 hours and tells her as much. Harlan Davis (Philip Bolton) arrives before any more discussion can happen with Jo Louise. Harlan is familiar with McGarrett and Danno and vice versa. He has a writ for Jo Louise's immediate release, which McGarrett finds curious since they aren't concerned with the charges. Harlan calls her "an innocent bystander" and informs them of her father, "Royce Ellington Mailer, a very wealthy and influential man, friend of numerous important citizens both here and in Washington". McGarrett is unimpressed and releases Jo Louise to Harlan. However, his gut won't let it go; he sets Kono on her to watch her every move.

Jo Louise speeds down the road in her Corvette with Harlan in the passenger seat. She notices Kono behind her and speeds even faster to lose him. It takes awhile but she is eventually successful.

At Jo Louise's beach house, Craig and Billy continue their arguments. Jo Louise knows this when she brings out some food. Craig is "just impatient" to keep the game going. Billy points out "one big card" can put him back in the lead. Jo Louise pulls out the deck with Billy saying, "give me the king". The card is '300 Kidnap'.

Jo Louise goes to a camera shop to drop a film roll to be developed. About to walk out, she sees Kono checking out her car and gives the shop owner a story that a stalker is following her. He tells her how to go out the back and she does.

Fingerprints are back from the sunken boat and because they don't match the bomb in the jeep, Danno hypothesizes that either their man is careful "or maybe there is more than one of them". Kono calls in and tells McGarrett where Jo Louise was and she "ducked out the back door". McGarrett runs out of the office to meet Kono.

Billy prowls skid row to find someone to fit the bill for a kidnapping. He finds a homeless guy he names 'Stumbles' (Eddie Firestone) and offers to pay him $5 and a bottle of wine. Billy walks him to the car and says he has engine trouble. Stumbles climbs into the trunk under the pretense to find some tools only to be shoved in and locked up.

Act Three

Billy drives down the street only to have a front tire blow out. Billy is forced to pull over and let Stumbles out of the trunk. Their conversation gets deep in dealing with life and death.

McGarrett studies a picture of the boat sinking in the camera store. He and Kono take the prints and the negatives so they can "make our own blow-ups". Knowing Jo Louise is going to need another car, McGarrett wants Chin "to check every car rental agency in town".

Billy finishes changing the tire and tells Stumbles to get back in the trunk after Stumbles tells his life story.

At Five-O, Chin checks off car rental agencies in the phone book as he calls them. Also at Five-O, Jo Louise's father (Jimmy Smith) stops by to talk to McGarrett. McGarrett gives Mailer a tally of the damages, "and I have a feeling the game is not over yet". Mailer is willing to write a check to make it all go away but McGarrett is having none of it. McGarrett asks Mailer to "stand aside" in order to help Jo Louise "before she gets in over her head". Mailer agrees, leaving McGarrett's office.

Craig and Jo Louise are shooting pictures on the boat when Billy drives up. Opening the trunk, Jo Louise laughs while Craig is less than impressed. Jo Louise gushes, snapping pictures, "as long as the body's warm". Jo Louise helps Stumbles out of the trunk. Billy pays him and sends him on his way. Craig is fed up, asking for the cards and he demands "the joker". It's the only card left to beat Billy, '500 Kill'. Craig accepts, tearing a corner. Billy and Jo Louise watch him back his car to pick up Stumbles. Billy isn't happy about this but can't stop it because McGarrett and Danno pick up the pair just as they were going after Craig.

Act Four

Jo Louise slouches in a chair as McGarrett tosses the pile of pictures in front of her. McGarrett knows she's responsible and now with the photos, "I can hold you on at least six assorted felony charges". Jo Louise denies knowing anything about the "sick game". Danno pulls out the cards, "maybe, this will jog your memory". In the outer office, Kono lays it out for Billy; he's on his own. Danno flips through the cards, "steal car, 50 points. Saw down tree, 75 points. Hundred and twenty-five for burning a Jeep. Hundred and fifty, sinking a boat. Kidnapped, 300". McGarrett takes the last, "and the kill card: Joker, 500 points. How far has the game gone, honey?" Jo Louise asks for her attorney, finally realizing she's cornered. Chin interrupts, calling Steve out to the outer office. The prints found on the bottle with jeep match Billy's but rather than book him for the jeep fire, McGarrett has another idea and sets it in motion with Chin's help. Back inside McGarrett's office, Jo Louise muses, "I don't think your boss likes me". Danno isn't impressed. McGarrett walks back in, seemingly defeated; "you're free to go," shocking Danno. Jo Louise walks out, making snide comments along the way. As soon as she leaves, Danno goes into a tizzy, "we've got the pictures, cards. What's this all about?" McGarrett picks up the joker, "notched just like the rest of them. We've got one last chance to stop it".

Craig and Stumbles drink at the beach house. The talk about home being Sunset Motel, "whenever I can scrape up the price of a bed" and that it doesn't have a swimming pool. Stumbles also says he can't swim. Craig drinks to get the courage up to kill Stumbles, grabbing the gun out of the drawer.

Billy and Jo Louise drive down the highway, Billy intent on stopping Craig. Neither realize there is a homing device on the car, which McGarrett and Danno are following. There isn't much conversation between Billy and Jo Louise until she reminds him if he's going to stop Craig he'll forfeit the game. "You're way behind, wahine. I've already checked out," Billy knows the prize isn't worth the hassle. Jo Louise lashes out when Billy chooses to do what's right over her. As McGarrett and Danno attempt to close in, Jo Louise tries to make up to Billy. Billy pushes her away even after she says she wants him and not Craig, "he'll smother me".

At the beach house, Stumbles pleads for his life. As Stumbles nears the dive board, Billy and Jo Louise arrive as the beeper in the Park Lane becomes steady. Billy runs in and tells Craig the game is over. Billy walks along the pool trying to get Craig to drop the gun, "if you could [kill], you would have". With only one way left, Billy and Craig struggle for the gun as Stumbles falls into the pool. The men fight as Stumbles flails. When McGarrett and Danno pull into the driveway, they check out the car with the homing device. Just as Stumbles crawls out of the pool, a gunshot is heard. McGarrett and Danno run in. Billy rolls over dead as Craig tries to hide when he sees McGarrett. Danno distracts Craig as McGarrett goes in behind. Meanwhile, Jo Louise cries over Billy's body. McGarrett ends the standoff and Danno moves in to handcuff Craig. After Craig tells McGarrett Jo Louise was the prize and "I should have stayed in Dallas". McGarrett shakes his head, "Why is it you guys always say, "I should have"?" McGarrett picks up a sobbing Jo Louise and walks her and Craig to the front. Stumbles emerges from the bushes and goes to Billy. He makes his way to the beach, pulling a bottle from his pocket but instead of taking a drink, he throws it in the surf perhaps to never take another drink again.

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